DC2NY

Despite being born and raised in a most political atmosphere in politically changing times, Washington is sometimes frustratingly political. You are surrounded by intimidating, large buildings of the enormous federal bureaucracy that reminds you every time you pass by that hardcore policy making and time wasting is going on inside. You ride the Metrobus every morning with people dressed in the local “DC-conservative” outfit (which for some inexplicable reasons allows for black skirt suits and white tennis shoes). You can hardly turn a corner without bumping into a newspaper stand selling today’s fabricated scandals and recycled political analysis, or visit a museum without paying tribute to the distant vista of the splendid Capitol whose chambers are least used for constructive debate these days.
DC is definitely all about politics and all the fun stuff that comes with it, including my favorite which is the local number plate motto of “Taxation without Representation.” In spite of the political irony that the US capital is on the same level with American Samoa or Guam when it comes to being unrepresented in Congress, the city has little to complain about.
Traditionalist as it is, DC has a decent gay population (conservatively holding hands, of course), passable hookah bars, quite a number of liquor stores, crazy enough salsa parties and high-end loud music $20/cocktail lounges that perfectly fit the today’s nonsensical anti-social club culture. In other words, it lives up to the 21^st century expectations of a world metropolis minus the crowd and the hyper-liberal PDA annoyance.
People here understand that food is made to be eaten at the table and although familiarly long coffee lines still constitute the general pre-work syndrome, I see a fair number of customers sipping after work frozen summer specials with a Post or a Times in hand on sunny terraces, apparently unconscious of the ticking of the time.
Oh, did I mention that we have sun here? (The thing up there that NYC replaces with tanning salons, antidepressant pills and relax massage centers.) Coupled with unbearable humidity and counterbalanced with equally unbearable Arctic style air-conditioning inside. Although I do recognize that men’s business outfits are not as seasonally adjustable as ours, I regard this as the widest scale female outfit dictatorship ever feat. long pants and winter cardigans in July heat.
As opposed to NYC, the local population seems to be intelligent enough to make a distinction between their bedroom clothes and casual shopping clothes; people occasionally do sleep at night and spend weekend mornings with friends and family instead of personal trainers. Fashion seems to be in a comfortable four hour distance away to legitimately disregard the newest trends and riding the bike to work with rolled up sleeves is actually not considered to be un-cool.
As my dear friend Jym once said, you can’t really take New York seriously; it’s one big playground. On the same note, it’s hard not to take DC seriously; this is where the playground rules are written.

A Great Prophet is Risen Up

As the Imperial Presidency of George II is nearing its much anticipated doomsday the world would happily stamp "R.I.P". on the Axis of Evil and end the 21^st Century reenactment of the Holy Crusade a l’Américaine. But a new American popular religion is rising on the not-so-distant political horizon. And it is bound to eventually shine its rays down on us all.
It believes in Government, it praises Diversity, it admires the invisible helping hand from above and it sacrifices individual freedoms on the altar of communal good. Its believers range from the post-industrial new class to young net roots activists, from left-behind slum dwellers to elites of the information age. Their motto is all-encompassing, their gatherings ecstatic, their preaching declares the coming of a brave new world, where differences, social and sexual, racial and economic shall be overcome. And all equally created men, women and in-betweens shall live happily ever after enjoying universal healthcare and eternal top-down benefits.
Dedicated volunteers’ service to the cause is the backbone of the nation-wide project to illuminate hypocrites, engage them in the common cause and deliver the Good News that their Leader is ready come Day One. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad!
No wonder, the followers’ contribution to the sacred mission is extraordinary and awe-inspiring. The liberal media can hardly take its eyes off of the spectacle. So it gives its own alms by launching a private war for opinions, “Reclaiming the Dream” which was confiscated by the greedy charlatans.
Against all odds and big business adversaries, gracious donations are endlessly pouring in, raising Right eyebrows and millions of dollars. Now the Messenger embarked on a worldwide tour to spread the word that Change is around the corner of K Street, one only has to Believe in it.
Judgment Day is yet to come.

En Garde!

The Supreme Nine’s latest decision abolishing DC’s strict gun control laws triggered sighs of relief across America and raised eyebrows across the gun-shy old continent. “Those gun lover Americans, they never change,” would the usual dismissive head-shaking go. It’s just another thing that’s weird about them. Add it to the list!

On this side of the Atlantic, however, few would trivialize the issue. Considering that it was the British army’s attempt to confiscate the firearms of patriotic Americans which snowballed into the Revolutionary war against Britain, small wonder that the “right of the people to keep and bear Arms” comes right after the First Amendment in the American Constitution.

Against all this patriotic American gun pride, the nation’s capital, a long-time trophy holder of the highest homicide-rate city in America, decided on a general firearms ban and passed the toughest gun law in the United States. Alas, crime rates only increased to the point where for example two years ago, when I spent my summer here, a murder-less week was as rare as a grammatically impeccable speech from the current President. Unarmed tourists and local nighttime runners frequently fell prey to illegal gun gangers. For gun guardians it was clearer than the truth that the solution to high crimes is not the general disarmament of the public. Yet rates did not convince the local government, hence the Court had to fire the fatal shot that ultimately killed the law – enjoying the wide support of the American public opinion.

While the vast majority supports reasonable regulations to purchase firearms this same majority of Americans still stick to their sacred right to carry guns. As emotional, politicized and patriotic an issue as it is, most Americans don’t have a gun at home and don’t hunt in their free-time. A lot of them do though and it is a cherished an important part of their lives which also makes them “very American.”

All of my friends who hunt, have guns or ever shot a rifle happen to be American. Despite the fact that my grandfather’s a real hunting buff, I never had forty minute long conversations about the proper techniques of clay shooting or the intense excitements of dove hunting before coming here. My mother never allowed us to play with toy guns in the house and I will never allow my children to do so.

Here, it’s hip to carry a gun and un-hip to carry a packet of cigarettes. In Europe it’s the opposite. I’d rather get rid of both of them. But in the meantime, as long as no one uses either one around me, I’m fine.